No that's not me up there doing the crazy dance, but it's definitely how I feel. These days I just shake my head quite often and think, "how did we get here? What the heck is going on?" And then I let out a big....UGH!!!
Last week I started E-mailing with the birthmom. She is 16 and so sweet. Sweet like a child who is in a very grown up situation. Her life has been hard and truly my heart hurts for her. So we E-mail and try to get to know each other. We try to figure out how to "do this" and what the future holds. Her heart tells her to keep the baby, but her head tells her she can't and that she wants a great life for her baby. Honestly, at this point I don't know if her heart or head will win in the end. When I truly get clear...either scenario is fine for us. It is just so hard to "wait and see" and I'm tired.
This week we found out that the birthmom's parents thought they were getting money for the adoption, yikes, um no that would be baby buying, ouch!! I am hopeful that it was just a miscommunication as English is their second language and it's not like they "should" know anything about adoption. Those of us that are trying to adopt have researched it until we are blue in the face, but they find themselves in a place they never wanted to be with very little information. I think we cleared that up and are moving on. Today we are leaving to go meet the birthmom and her parents. They live near our family so it will also be a nice family visit. I am so nervous and yet excited to be taking the next step.
I will let you know how it goes...wish us luck and safe travels (if you want to, ha :)
5 comments:
Oh my goodness. What a roller coaster you are on. I can so relate. My niece has her ultrasound today and we will see if it's a boy or girl. She too is so young to be in this situation. I'm tired of trying to do what's best for her and also have her see how this decision will effect her and this baby forever. I am sooo tired right along with you. Sending prayers your way. Hope the meeting goes really well.
Oooh, hope it goes well, Harmony! I will be praying for y'all and for a limited number of awkward moments this weekend. =/ It's got to be so uncomfortable for everyone involved, but hopefully y'all can all get on the same page for the sake of this precious little girl who's about to be born. Looking forward to hearing all about it!
Harmony, I hope that everything goes well. Now matter how you add to your family the journey can be exhausting. Take a deep breath and try to enjoy the ride even it takes you to uncharted territory. I will be thinking of you and your family and of course the family of this little girl.
Good luck with your meeting...I hope it all goes very well. Thanks for letting me continue to read your journey.
Hi-
I sure hope the visit was as positive as possible. Thinking of you!
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