My sweet friend Jen, who I have know since I was 10, (yes, I just realized that rhymed, don't worry, I am really not writing a poem) asked me a couple questions that I thought would make a good blog post. She and her family had to say "So Long" to their kitty cat today (so sorry Jen) so I thought it was a good day to address her questions.....
Here is what she wanted to know (I'm paraphrasing a little because I couldn't get the copy and paste to work): What if you were not able to use the Internet to do the initial adoption research and to connect with other Adoptive moms? What if you didn't have a blog (gasp, the horror) to record your journey? How much harder would it have been? Would you have persevered? How important is this vital community? Are there any downsides to the use of the Internet?
I know, great questions, huh? Well, I have to say that there really is a mix of positives and negatives to the use of the Internet for adoption. Sometimes the amount of information out there is overwhelming and you have to really weed through it to figure out what is valid, what is useful, what the intentions are of the person writing it is. For example, there is a LARGE forum for Ethiopian adoptions and I was so thankful to find it because it opened my eyes to the possible unethical behavior in international adoption. From there I learned that I really had to research agencies and ask all the tough questions until I found one that felt right (which I did for 5 months before choosing). I was also completely overwhelmed by all the negativity on the board that I had to eventually leave because it was literally keeping me up at night.
By far the most amazing gift of the Internet is the connection that I have made with other families. Many are in my area and will for sure be lifelong friends. Some are spread out all over the country and still they have offered me support at all the right times (group hug everyone:). Would I have persevered without the use of the Internet to gain the support system that I have had? This is by far my favorite question. It's really hard to say. I think I am a strong person. I think I can remind myself to follow my heart. I have an amazing husband, family and friends that are not from the Internet adoption circle that I know would have continued to cheer me on. But with all of that said, no one understands what it is like to wait, and wait, and wait, oh and wait some more(go give my friend Bridget some love as she has been waiting 24 months). Even when you know you don't have any control and it will "happen when it's meant to be" (the worst possible thing to say to someone who is having a hard time waiting) it is so hard and without the people that have gone before you or are in it at the same time I am not sure if I would have been able to do it or if I would have just said, "I quit" and laid in bed eating chocolate and drinking wine, oh wait, I did that last part, but I didn't quit and because of it I have the most beautiful, wonderful little girl who seriously fills my heart with sunshine (cue cheesy music).
So did I do it Jen? Did I answer the questions you were wondering about? Maybe others can leave their thoughts too. How has the Internet helped your adoption process? Have there been any draw backs?
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