So, I woke up on Saturday and checked my E-mail, which I do every Saturday, okay, every day actually....and there it was...a shock, a surprise E-mail from the 16 year old birthmom that I got to know this summer. The birthmom who we thought was going to place her baby girl with us this summer but changed her mind at the very last minute in the hospital after we spent 3 days with her and the baby girl.
It has been 7 months and so much has changed. I haven't thought about it in a while. You see it was hard on so many levels, but the level I didn't anticipate was that I actually missed her, the birthmom, because we had been in contact every day for 3 months during a very difficult time. So when we came home empty handed I wasn't just sad about not having a baby girl in my arms but it was also hard to lose the connection and break the habit of texting and E-mailing "G", the birthmom.
In her E-mail she said that she never meant to hurt me. That she still thinks about me all the time. That I am amazing and that she admired me so much. At the end she said that she hopes that I can forgive her someday.
So I thought about it...do I forgive her??? Forgive her for changing her mind?? For keeping her baby?? Did it hurt?? Oh yeah, it did. Seeing my husband cry, trying to explain it to my sons...ouch. But I forgave her a long time ago.
I'm glad she kept her baby. It was the best for all of us. She attached pictures of her baby girl. When I looked at the pictures of that adorable baby, that's all she was, someone's adorable baby girl, not the baby girl I imagined. My baby girl is an Ethiopian princess and I can not wait to see her beautiful face.
So, I E-mailed her back and here is what I said:
Hi-Well, I don't know about "amazing" but I try to be the best person I
can be, so thanks :) I think that everything happens for a reason and
we were obviously meant to meet. It turned out to not be for
adoption, but maybe it was to learn more about ourselves and life in
general. I definitely learned that I can be there for someone who
needs me and hopefully I was helpful. I also learned to forgive
because I know you never meant to hurt me and I learned to care about someone that I didn't even know. I'm sure you learned a lot too :)
I wish you the BEST life for you and your baby girl. I'm proud of you.
Take care,
Harmony
8 comments:
You truly are an amazing woman Harmony! What a beautiful example of love! Thank you for sharing :)
Mary
Oh tears tears and more tears. What a nice girl to send you that email and what a heartfelt response. I can't wait to see your Ethiopian princess one day.
Wow!
Seriously, I don't know how you do it. You are a strong woman Harm!!!
Amazing? Oh definitely, you're amazing. No question.
You're an amazing person! That must of been so hard. I can't even imagine!
What a gift to know you impacted her life so much. I'm guessing that meeting you will make her a better mom and a better woman. Your heart is incredibly generous. I, too, can't wait to see the Ethiopian princess meant to be your daughter!
ok...this was almost more than I could bear to read on my phone... what a crazy amazing journey it's been eh? I'm glad to hear peace in your 'voice' xox
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