I don't even know what to say and I'm tired, but I'm looking for some thoughts and if you have them I would like to hear them.
This adoption journey in much more of a "journey" than I expected. It's a journey of the soul, of the heart, of love, of fear. It brings up a lot of questions and not a lot of clear answers...at least so far.
We are so close to being done with our paperwork for our adoption from Ethiopia. A couple days ago, something happened. I came across a blog that made me go hmmm... It was about a family adopting a little girl with Down Syndrome and something stirred in me, maybe it was my dinner, but it definitely stirred. At the beginning of this journey I came across children with Special Needs that were needing a forever family and I definitely thought about it. I'm a pediatric Occupational Therapist. I love the children and families that I work with. I am educated about many special needs and I know what our family is capable of handling, at least I think I do, but I'm probably wrong, we can probably handle anything that comes our way, BUT I know where I think we should start. At that time I told myself, "you work with children with special needs, you can't also have one at home," so we chose to adopt from Ethiopia and request a "healthy" child. Truth is, I don't work outside of the home much right now. I know a lot about services. I know a lot about the joys and the challenges of children with special needs, but I don't know a lot about adults with special needs (which children turn into, in case you didn't know :).
Soooo, I took a little trip over to www.Reecesrainbow.com and they specialize in finding homes for children with Down Syndrome and one of the pictures made my heart do a flip. I don't know, something about her just got me.
Now what??? Honestly, I'm a little sick of all this uncertainty, but I should be used to it by now because that's just who I am. Nothing is ever clear like water for me. I'm actually really trying hard to talk myself out of this (by the way, hubby is in the same place as I am with this). I can just finish my paperwork for Ethiopia this week and that would be "easier".
But something is pulling me down the Road Even Less Traveled.....Those eyes, that nose...HELP...
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11 comments:
It's not craziness. It's something, isn't it, where we are led to or what we are led to do?
I think everyone finds their path. It's amazing where you can find yourself if you keep going, one step at a time, right?
I can totally relate to this path. I am an autism consultant and my husband is a educational psychologist and our social workers convinced us at the beginning that we work with children with exceptionalities all day so it would be best not to adopt. Recently our agency approached us to tell us about some of the children that they care for that need a home. Not what we pictured...not the path we thought we would take, but we were both ready to open ourselves to it and change our paperwork in a pretty short amount of time.
We are now waiting for re-approval of our paperwork.I'm tired..journey is definitely an understatement!
All you can do is follow your heart, take one step at a time, keep that in sync with your husband, and then trust.
Good luck!!
I believe in paying attention to the tugs on our hearts...In my view, God speaks there and leads us that way. The fact that your husband is also of the same mind is huge.
I think adoption is its own "calling" and special needs adoption even more so. You have the skills and background to feel more equipped than most, and that is also significant.
I have a little sister with Down Syndrome. She is as unique in personality and interests as any other person, and wonderfully innocent and free.
Unfortunately, most Down syndrome children are aborted today, so our culture misses out on the joy and love they can bring.
Just keep following your heart. Your journey may be windy, but you'll get there and it will all be just as it was meant to be.
Thank you for this post. It reminded me that the journey is a journey! Here we are thinking about another adoption and the signs have been as clear as mud! But you made me remember our first adoption and all the surprises. We did our paperwork for a baby girl from China as young as possible and healthy. INSTEAD God gave us a special needs child (syndactyly of both hands) who was 22 months old and total perfection for our family:-) Good luck, my friend. Follow your heart. When I saw Bryn's picture, my heart did a flip in my chest and the rest is history.
No matter what you decide, someone is going to have a loving home and full life...in the end, that is what really matters; how you get there...well...that's a different story!
I think whatever you decide you're going to make the right and best choice. And somewhere some beautiful little girl is going to have one of the most wonderful mommies you can image and a deeply loving home.
You're absolutely right--you can handle whatever comes your way. God doesn't give special needs children to strong people; he gives special needs children to people and then gives them strength.
It is a journey, a journey that as you've probably read on the RR group can be heartbreaking at times. But to be called to put one's heart on the line in order to save one of these little ones is a blessing. Trust your heart; God will lead you where He wants you to be. Either way, you can't go wrong serving the least of His people.
thinking of you....
Keep looking for "signs". That's what I do when I'm unsure. Or pray. Listen to the answer I guess is what I'm saying....
Good luck!
I've known a bunch of people with Downs, and they are so super sweet and special.
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