So, I am on my computer a little too much....no, that is not me above, but it could be. In so many ways I appreciate the ability to connect with people I haven't seen in a while and people who share similar experiences (such as adoption) but live far away. So, thank you computer....however....
It can be such a distraction from the life in front of you and that includes my kids and as hard as parenting is, I don't want to miss it. I will admit right here that my will power SUCKS. I keep saying, okay, no computer unless the kids are sleeping....bombed it. No computer unless the boys are watching a show...bombed it again. Keep the laptop upstairs so it's not always at your fingertips....yep, you guessed it, bombed, bombed, bombed. What is up with me, ugh!!
Well, I can say that we have big changes going on here at home. My hubby will be starting a new job, I will be picking up the "slack" at home, so roles are changing. Let me tell you right now that I am not the "Harmony Homemaker" that I think I should be and I'm sure I am too hard on myself for it, but I want to be better.
So let's be honest, since I am all over the place with this post....I get a little bored, and I'm very ADD (as you can tell from this disjointed post), and I turn to my computer for distraction. But when your 2 yr. old comes up and shuts your computer and says, "look in my eyes, please come see," ouch, you know you are not paying attention and that he is smart enough to use your own sayings on you.
So, bring on the advice, because I know we are all dealing with it in our households. It is the age of technology and with it's benefits comes it's draw backs. I don't want to be the family where one child is playing Wii, while the other one is watching TV, while mom is typing a new post on her blog (cough, cough), while dad is upstairs reading sports on the computer, and let's face it, we're already there.
HELP... Do we need rules? What do you do in your home to connect...and don't say text each other :)
4 comments:
A challenge! I think the only way is creating boundaries around technology. One thing that helps me is setting clear times for when I allow yourself computer time. To help stick to it, I find turning the computer off, and even putting a cloth over it to hide it, is best. Also, setting a timer -- and keeping it right beside the computer. So if I only want to give myself 20 min to check email in the morning, I set the timer and make myself stop when it goes off. Then I might give myself 20 or 30 min after lunch -- set the timer again. Then maybe after the kids are in bed. When I don't waste time on the computer that I should take for other things, I don't feel guilty when I DO use it, and everything is better.
Wow - that's really honest - and really common. It's so easy to set goals and then get caught up in the moment which turns into the hour which turns into the day, week, etc. It's hard to constantly be focused on everyone else - engaging our kids, cleaning for the family, meal planning for the family, etc. I'm finding that if I physically make it hard to do my own thing, I end up being more actively involved with my daughter. Taking her outside to play, to the library to play, scheduling activities with other kids, etc. sort of forces me not to engage in my vices (which are sadly laundry and cleaning as well as the computer). I do schedule our days so that we're heading out each morning for an activity, home for lunch, nap (this is where I get to do MY stuff), then play or read or have her "help" me with laundry before I start dinner. I get some more ME time once she's in bed and the kitchen is cleaned up. This helps me to give her some undivided attention and me some time throughout the day to do my stuff. It's hard, though - I find myself feeling guilty if I'm trying to read an adoption blog while she's playing. She'll come over to my and ask to sit on my lap and look at "babies" on the computer - she wants me to go to our agency's waiting child list. I then feel bad that I'm pining for the next one while I should be playing with this one right in front of me. Don't be hard on yourself for falling into the normal and healthy category of needing something for yourself, but do see if there's a way to better accommodate your needs into your daily schedule. That's what I'm trying to do anyways. Hope this helps. I'm rambling now. : )
Laura (stranger who can identify)
I'm painting to keep my mind off baby stuff and to keep away from the computer. I will let you know if it works! As you can tell it's not working yet!:)
You're right, I see this in myself too. It's awful :-(
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